I don’t think courtesy is outdated.
There’s a saying that ‘chivalry is dead’ But how exactly did it die? Who was responsible for letting it die? Should it stay dead?
The word ‘chivalry’ can make people think of a gentleman holding open a door for a lady to pass first, offering to help a old woman with her bags and other similar situations. I think these are good, gentlemanly acts. But not everyone agrees with me; I’m sure.
Now, chivalry technically has two definitions. Here they are, right from the Cambridge dictionary:
chivalry
noun
uk /ˈʃɪv.əl.ri/us /ˈʃɪv.əl.ri/ (I’ve never understood these phonetic thingies, maybe English majors can guide me).
very polite, honest and kind behaviour, especially by men towards women.
the system of behaviour followed by knights in the medieval period of history, that put a high value on honour, kindness and courage.
Now, even though the medieval period ended hundreds of years ago, ‘honour’ ‘kindness’ and ‘courage’ are timeless virtues that we should all strive to show through our deeds and words, irrespective of gender.
It’s not wrong for men to act kindly towards women, it’s a good thing, actually. It’s much better than men showing women coldness or indifference. One criticism of chivalrous acts is that they set a precedent that a woman can’t do things for herself. I think a combination of this outlook and the general decline of courtesy in our society is the reason why chivalry has been pronounced to be dead.
Yes, women can do things for themselves, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to do things for them sometimes. When a man opens a taxi door for his girlfriend, it’s not necessarily because she can’t open the door, but that he wants to show her that he cares about her through a small act. Actions like those go a long way in helping make our society more wholesome. Being courteous isn’t restricted to male-female interactions. Chivalry is a particular type of courtesy, a sub-set of courtesy if you will. And I think our society could do with more courtesy.
So guys, let’s try and revive chivalry. Let’s not let it die. Act kindly towards ladies (and men too while your at it), not for any personal gain, but just because it’s a good thing to do.
Sources:
Definition of Chivalry. Cambridge Dictionaryhttps://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/chivalry
Word of the Day-Chivalry. Merriam-Webster. https://www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day/chivalry-2023-05-04